Jokes, funny pictures and other amusing stuff

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Jokes, funny pictures and other amusing stuff

Postby sarah t » Tue Jun 05, 2007 1:10 pm

I miss the joke thread from the old forum!

If anyone's got any good puns could be worth sharing. Sadly nothing springs to mind however... this clip from YouTube made me smile...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=2t8YTvdYXws

Quite a witty spoof of Madness hit "Our House", usual 'black comedy' from Spitting Image.

Factor in funny pictures and other amusing stuff and this could be a very uplifting thread!
Last edited by sarah t on Tue Jun 05, 2007 1:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby mikeypblueremix » Tue Jun 05, 2007 4:44 pm

Last edited by mikeypblueremix on Tue Jun 05, 2007 4:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Stig Olsen » Tue Jun 05, 2007 6:57 pm

haha, brilliant.
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Postby sarah t » Wed Jun 06, 2007 12:54 pm

Great stuff about the Olympic symbol!

Guss I was hoping for some amusing stuff as I'm currently anxiously awaiting the outcome of a Southampton City Council job interview I had this time last week. I really felt it went well, seemed to provide all the right answers and feel I would be ideally suited to this vacancy (data entry clerk, catering dept) but at the end of the day I guess it's 'totally out of my hands'. Really feel that if I don't get it there truely is 'no justice in the world'!
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Postby grace » Wed Jun 06, 2007 12:55 pm

sarah t wrote:Great stuff about the Olympic symbol!

Guss I was hoping for some amusing stuff as I'm currently anxiously awaiting the outcome of a Southampton City Council job interview I had this time last week. I really felt it went well, seemed to provide all the right answers and feel I would be ideally suited to this vacancy (data entry clerk, catering dept) but at the end of the day I guess it's 'totally out of my hands'. Really feel that if I don't get it there truely is 'no justice in the world'!

Oh good luck!!! hope you get it...
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Postby sarah t » Wed Jun 06, 2007 1:02 pm

Thanks very much for the good wishes grace, much appreciated!
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Postby Boiled Being » Thu Jun 07, 2007 12:39 am

JAM! . . . . You've gotta get some!
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Postby cs15 » Thu Jun 07, 2007 12:47 am

If you were a diamond, I wouldn't want you now.
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Postby grace » Thu Jun 07, 2007 7:35 am

sarah t wrote:Thanks very much for the good wishes grace, much appreciated!

Any News???
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Postby mikeypblueremix » Thu Jun 07, 2007 9:59 am

Will keep my fingers, arms and legs crossed for you Sarah :)
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Postby sarah t » Thu Jun 07, 2007 12:29 pm

mikeypblueremix wrote:Will keep my fingers, arms and legs crossed for you Sarah :)

That sounds very painful!! ...but thanks for the thought, much appreciated!

...though still nothing... maybe it was not meant to be :(
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Postby sarah t » Thu Jun 07, 2007 12:31 pm

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Postby Soundtrack » Fri Jun 08, 2007 6:34 pm

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.





A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
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Postby Boiled Being » Fri Jun 08, 2007 9:24 pm

In a similar vein. . .
A man answers an advert for a handyman in the local paper.
He goes round to the 5-bed detached (with extensive grounds) for his interview.
The lady of the house points out that there will be a goodly amount of gardening to do . . .
"Sorry, don't do gardening; I'm allergic to cut grass".
She then points out that the place is getting on a bit and needs a lick of paint.
"Sorry, don't do painting; gets on me chest somethin' awful".
The worried lady goes through a list of trades which would be advantageous; plastering, bricklaying, carpentry etc.
The applicant has no skills in any department.
"Tell me why you think you'd make a good handyman then", says she.
"Well, I only live round the corner".
Last edited by Boiled Being on Fri Jun 08, 2007 9:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.
JAM! . . . . You've gotta get some!
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Postby Psychotroniclovecommando » Fri Jun 08, 2007 10:20 pm

I'm The Sex Fuhrer Baby I'm A Love Dictator
You're A Disco Reptile A Funky Alligator
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Postby Soundtrack » Fri Jun 08, 2007 10:30 pm

Lol! What did she do/who did she sleep with to become so famous? Did I blink and miss it?!
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Postby Psychotroniclovecommando » Fri Jun 08, 2007 10:41 pm

I think she's one of these people who are just famous for being famous if you know what I mean.
She made a porn movie with her ex which was all over the net and put her right in the spotlight, tho I dunno what all the fuss was about cos its not very good, er, so my mate told me.......
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Postby SagwaTiggy » Sat Jun 09, 2007 3:10 am

... that, and the fact that her silver spoon inheritance is from her great grandfather, who was the founder of the Hilton Hotels. back to the pokey you go, Paris.
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Postby Soundtrack » Sat Jun 09, 2007 8:58 pm

And welcome to 21st Century fame...you no longer have to do anything great and good to get your name known, and drink driving is seen as a triumph!
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Postby SagwaTiggy » Sun Jun 10, 2007 4:12 am

M.A.D.D. (Mothers Against Drunk Drivers) were upset with Paris, as are a lot of other people. Then again, there is a new group who are upset with these mums -- the group is called D.A.M.M. (Drunks Against Mad Mothers). :lol:
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Postby Pauline » Sun Jun 10, 2007 10:38 am

This is funny, daft comedian magicians. The dancing (at 2mins 40secs) is HILARIOUS !! :lol:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuMMfgWhm3g
Last edited by Pauline on Sun Jun 10, 2007 10:38 am, edited 1 time in total.
...more firey than the sun...
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Postby Pauline » Sun Jun 10, 2007 11:03 am

Image

Image
...more firey than the sun...
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Postby SagwaTiggy » Mon Jun 11, 2007 4:03 am

there was a movie in the mid-90's called Shawshank Redemption. there might be a TV-movie about the Paris Hilton in-and-out of jail scandal called Rawskank Redemption.
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Postby mikeypblueremix » Mon Jun 11, 2007 10:31 am

Dirty, but :lol:
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Postby Soundtrack » Mon Jun 11, 2007 5:43 pm

This isn't funny, just interesting

"Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe. ceehiro."
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